Silence.

I was in the car yesterday with my mom, on our way to pick up Hopey at her boyfriend's house and  guess what? It was silent the whole entire way. Complete stillness for about a half hour. How many times do you get that? I loved it! I really like for things to be quiet sometimes. All my friends talk a lot and I love them.  I really like to listen to people. I get tired of being a good listener because the people I so intently listen to all the time are never willing to listen to me. Some people talk way too much. I'm just sick of some people. Here is my explosion. Sorry it's really mean, but I hate one way friendships. This is just what I feel.


Silence: absence of any sound or noise; stillness; absence or omission of mention, comment, or expressed concern.


Silence.....


Sometimes there is not a thing in the world I want more. I'm so quiet because in my mind I'm hoping maybe people will follow my way.

I don't want to talk but I don't want to have to listen either. I just want you to Shut up. Silence. Thats all I wish for right now. Just for a moment will you Stop talking. I don't want to hear a single word.

Theres not a thing better than a time when nothing is interrupting your thoughts. I just want to think. Selah. 

I'm tired of hearing about your life, your  likes, your  dislikes, your drama, your opinions, your everything when you don't care about mine. I'm tired of people's voices. I don't want to hear your stories when you never bother with listening to mine. I don't want to talk to you.

Have you forgotten how a conversation works? You clearly have, so just go and silence yourself to just think about all the meaningless things you have been saying. I bet you could't repeat everything you just said because you weren't using your brain while you ran your mouth.

People seriously just sit and talk about absolutely nothing! Don't waste your words. It's just not wise. So silence.

I know you're always trying to up one everybody and everybody already has seen straight through your act. You're fake! Shut up. 


I can't even make sense of anything you're saying anymore. It's all nonsense. Do you ever just take a moment to think? Selah. 


Have you ever stopped for a moment and said, "Oh wait, I probably shouldn't say that....it could really hurt her." Pause. Just take a breath!

When do you have time to breath?! You're always so busy talking about yourself, bragging about yourself, or insulting someone. I'm not quiet because I have nothing to say, I'm quiet because you leave absolutely no room for anyone else to say what they think. Every time I listen to you speak I want to lock myself up in my room and scream my head off.

Let me talk! 


You have before but of course after I speak you say something to top it off! Does that make you feel good about yourself? I hope it does. Is that why you keep me around? So you can have some "friendly" competition?


Leave me alone. 


I'm just so sick of your voice. blah blah blah blah blah.


When I share something from my heart you later use it to break me down. I share my likes, loves, and all my heart's desires with you and you steal them and make them your own. This isn't fair. I would rather not talk to you.

Please. Don't talk to me. 


Don't acted like you care! You don't. You don't care about single part of me. Don't try to give me advice or share your concerns about me. Silence! 


Silence. Shut up. Stop talking. Selah. Just think. Don't waste your words. Just take a breath. Let me talk. Leave me alone. I'm so sick of your voice. Don't talk to me. 

Day 09: My Beliefs

I believe that God is the creator of everything.
I believe that everything in the Bible is true.
I believe that everything is possible with Him.
I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins.
I believe that Jesus is my Savior.
I believe that God's love is never ending.
I believe in His mercy.
I believe that everything I do should be for Jesus.

Well I think you get the point :)

Day 08: a moment

So I have not written a blog in forever. I'm sorry. Life has been completely insane. It seems that I can never get a break. It's spring break this week but I still feel like there is just so much that I have to do but tonight I don't feel like going to bed at all so I plan on writing as many blogs possible in one night so be prepared:)

A moment...hmm...

I can't decide what kind of moment I want to talk about...

a happy moment?

an awkward moment?

a life changing moment?

the greatest moment ever?

a moment of realization?

a sad moment?

I don't know...I think everybody would be most interested in an embarrassing moment. Am I right? haha.

Well here it goes.

So I didn't go to public school until I was in seventh grade. I went to a private school up until fourth grade and then I was home schooled for two years and hated it so public school was my only choice really. I went to this really tiny school called Taylor Middle School. In my school everybody knew everybody so everybody had there groups and what not. Well after sixth grade everybody had their friends and all already so when I came in 7th grade I was "the new girl." I didn't know that many people yet so, so far I was just the quiet new girl. 

I don't get embarrassed very easily due to the fact that my dad's goal everywhere I go is to embarrass me. So I learned at a very young age to laugh off everything. Well my embarrassing moment takes place in gym class. Like I said, my school was very small so we only had two gym classes for the seventh grade. The day of gym that I wasn't there for, they timed the students running across the gym. The next day I came back to gym I had to make this up. So while I got timed everybody sat on the bleachers and watched. Two things you should know if you don't know them already: I hate being the center of attention with many eyes on me and only me all at once and to make that even worse I never fail to fail when under a lot of pressure. haha. Both of these things were going on in this moment and it was all just too much for me to take. So me trying to prove myself ran as fast as I possibly could across that gym..well about half that gym. Lets just say I didn't have the best traction on my shoes and fell on my butt in front of half of my seventh grade class in which only about three of them actually really knew me. It was awful and humiliating. Luckily I'm able to laugh things off with friends, all of the three of them that I had there, when I got up. It was quite the embarrassing moment. But hey, at least I wasn't just the quiet, new girl anymore.... right? Hahaha oh well, if anything this is a very funny memory.