Silence.

I was in the car yesterday with my mom, on our way to pick up Hopey at her boyfriend's house and  guess what? It was silent the whole entire way. Complete stillness for about a half hour. How many times do you get that? I loved it! I really like for things to be quiet sometimes. All my friends talk a lot and I love them.  I really like to listen to people. I get tired of being a good listener because the people I so intently listen to all the time are never willing to listen to me. Some people talk way too much. I'm just sick of some people. Here is my explosion. Sorry it's really mean, but I hate one way friendships. This is just what I feel.


Silence: absence of any sound or noise; stillness; absence or omission of mention, comment, or expressed concern.


Silence.....


Sometimes there is not a thing in the world I want more. I'm so quiet because in my mind I'm hoping maybe people will follow my way.

I don't want to talk but I don't want to have to listen either. I just want you to Shut up. Silence. Thats all I wish for right now. Just for a moment will you Stop talking. I don't want to hear a single word.

Theres not a thing better than a time when nothing is interrupting your thoughts. I just want to think. Selah. 

I'm tired of hearing about your life, your  likes, your  dislikes, your drama, your opinions, your everything when you don't care about mine. I'm tired of people's voices. I don't want to hear your stories when you never bother with listening to mine. I don't want to talk to you.

Have you forgotten how a conversation works? You clearly have, so just go and silence yourself to just think about all the meaningless things you have been saying. I bet you could't repeat everything you just said because you weren't using your brain while you ran your mouth.

People seriously just sit and talk about absolutely nothing! Don't waste your words. It's just not wise. So silence.

I know you're always trying to up one everybody and everybody already has seen straight through your act. You're fake! Shut up. 


I can't even make sense of anything you're saying anymore. It's all nonsense. Do you ever just take a moment to think? Selah. 


Have you ever stopped for a moment and said, "Oh wait, I probably shouldn't say that....it could really hurt her." Pause. Just take a breath!

When do you have time to breath?! You're always so busy talking about yourself, bragging about yourself, or insulting someone. I'm not quiet because I have nothing to say, I'm quiet because you leave absolutely no room for anyone else to say what they think. Every time I listen to you speak I want to lock myself up in my room and scream my head off.

Let me talk! 


You have before but of course after I speak you say something to top it off! Does that make you feel good about yourself? I hope it does. Is that why you keep me around? So you can have some "friendly" competition?


Leave me alone. 


I'm just so sick of your voice. blah blah blah blah blah.


When I share something from my heart you later use it to break me down. I share my likes, loves, and all my heart's desires with you and you steal them and make them your own. This isn't fair. I would rather not talk to you.

Please. Don't talk to me. 


Don't acted like you care! You don't. You don't care about single part of me. Don't try to give me advice or share your concerns about me. Silence! 


Silence. Shut up. Stop talking. Selah. Just think. Don't waste your words. Just take a breath. Let me talk. Leave me alone. I'm so sick of your voice. Don't talk to me. 

Day 09: My Beliefs

I believe that God is the creator of everything.
I believe that everything in the Bible is true.
I believe that everything is possible with Him.
I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins.
I believe that Jesus is my Savior.
I believe that God's love is never ending.
I believe in His mercy.
I believe that everything I do should be for Jesus.

Well I think you get the point :)

Day 08: a moment

So I have not written a blog in forever. I'm sorry. Life has been completely insane. It seems that I can never get a break. It's spring break this week but I still feel like there is just so much that I have to do but tonight I don't feel like going to bed at all so I plan on writing as many blogs possible in one night so be prepared:)

A moment...hmm...

I can't decide what kind of moment I want to talk about...

a happy moment?

an awkward moment?

a life changing moment?

the greatest moment ever?

a moment of realization?

a sad moment?

I don't know...I think everybody would be most interested in an embarrassing moment. Am I right? haha.

Well here it goes.

So I didn't go to public school until I was in seventh grade. I went to a private school up until fourth grade and then I was home schooled for two years and hated it so public school was my only choice really. I went to this really tiny school called Taylor Middle School. In my school everybody knew everybody so everybody had there groups and what not. Well after sixth grade everybody had their friends and all already so when I came in 7th grade I was "the new girl." I didn't know that many people yet so, so far I was just the quiet new girl. 

I don't get embarrassed very easily due to the fact that my dad's goal everywhere I go is to embarrass me. So I learned at a very young age to laugh off everything. Well my embarrassing moment takes place in gym class. Like I said, my school was very small so we only had two gym classes for the seventh grade. The day of gym that I wasn't there for, they timed the students running across the gym. The next day I came back to gym I had to make this up. So while I got timed everybody sat on the bleachers and watched. Two things you should know if you don't know them already: I hate being the center of attention with many eyes on me and only me all at once and to make that even worse I never fail to fail when under a lot of pressure. haha. Both of these things were going on in this moment and it was all just too much for me to take. So me trying to prove myself ran as fast as I possibly could across that gym..well about half that gym. Lets just say I didn't have the best traction on my shoes and fell on my butt in front of half of my seventh grade class in which only about three of them actually really knew me. It was awful and humiliating. Luckily I'm able to laugh things off with friends, all of the three of them that I had there, when I got up. It was quite the embarrassing moment. But hey, at least I wasn't just the quiet, new girl anymore.... right? Hahaha oh well, if anything this is a very funny memory.

Day 07: My Best Friend

Camille Rosa May Wead... :)

I don't even know where to start.

Well.....

The Weads started coming to our church when me and Camille were about seven or eight I think. Her parents had invited all the pastors and their families over for a party and my dad was the youth pastor at the time so I went. They had a moon bounce in their back yard for the party and I went on it with Camille and I instantly loved her.

I was drawn to that big smile that's always on her face, her obnoxious self, being loud all the time, and always having something to say. She never said anything negative and she always seemed excited about everything. Quiet, shy little me was cracked right out of my shell with her when I first met her. I talked to her about everything on the moon bounce that day. We were friends then but not best friends quite yet.

I had a best friend name Virginia at the time and we were kind of exclusive. Me and Camille hung out a lot after that day though. Camille grew on Virginia eventually too and we were like The Three Musketeers. Inseparable best buddy's. We hung out, watched movies, played house, played card games, played outside, and talked about boys a lot too. Just your typical third grade girl best friends.

 It wasn't until fifth grade that Camille and I had more than just a shallow relationship. I was the youth pastor's daughter and she was a youth leader's daughter and there is this thing for the youth called Fine Arts Festival and it was in Denver, Colorado that year. So even though we weren't old enough to participate we went with our families anyway. They had really powerful services every night and one night they talked about the Holy Spirit. When they called every body up to the altar Camille and I went up and got baptized in the Holy Spirit together. I had never experienced anything so powerful and had never felt so good and happy in my life. Ever since that day she has been my best friend.

I lost so many friends in the past two years but Camille has never left my side. It's so hard to find a good best girl friend because girls are mean and always feel threatened but me and Camille we always are encouraging each other. We love to worship together. I got the honor of leading worship for my first time with her. We are always trying to include others together.We get together pretty much every weekend just to catch up. She's so beautiful. We can talk and talk for hours. When we get together we don't even do anything we just enjoy each others company. We have thee funniest miscommunications ever (I can't even tell you what they are because they reveal embarrassing things about us both but mostly her). She can't keep a secret unless its really important. She hates most boys. She's obsessed with weddings. She's an awesome singer and dancer. She likes upbeat music. We both like to dance crazy. We never fight. Were both super competitive so you don't want to play card games with us unless we're on the same team....it gets crazy. We are complete opposites. We are so goofy, all the time. The same things bother us. She can read my mind and I can read hers too. We change our love languages for each other's sake, since were so opposite.

I'm a pastor's kid and her dad is Doug Wead (google him and you'll understand this) yet we find a good middle. She takes me to Charity Award Dinners where I meet important politicians, news castors and all and I'll take her to eat all the foods she's never tried before, watch movies, go to amusement parks, and watch movies and TV she's not allowed too. haha.
She says everything on her mind and I don't say anything at all.
She is scared of boys and I'm a huge flirt.
She's a picky eater (well when i met her) and I'll eat everything put in front of me.
She's a blonde and I'm a brunette.
She has green eyes and I have really dark brown.
She's good at makeup and I'm good at hair.
She likes plan and simple and I like craziness.
She's organized and I'm out of control.

Needless to say were just very different.

Well Camille Rosa May Wead thank you for never leaving my side, helping me make big decisions, understanding me, for being a good listener, being encouraging, loving Jesus, being my better half, sticking with me through thick and thin, letting me cry my eyeballs out or just scream when I need it, teaming up with me to help and befriend other people, making my life less stressful, giving the best advise, talking to me, being so nice to everyone, bringing out the crazy in me, keeping me company when I need some, telling me when I'm wrong, when I need to pig out thanks for making me great junk food, watching sad chick flicks with me, always keeping me accountable with things, being angry when I'm angry, coming to the Sound, being loving to everybody, being my dance partner for life,  for making every birthday the best, reading my mind when I don't want to talk, being so funny and making me laugh all the time....even at the wrong times to laugh, making things that are usually stressful more fun, and thanks for so much more but I'm writing way too much. You are the greatest friend I've ever had. You're awesome. Couldn't ask for any better. :)

Day 06: My Day

Well due to the 5 inches of snow we got here, I haven't had school since my very stressful start of the semester on tuesday. God answered my prayers and gave me a break that was already greatly needed. :)

My day wasn't awesome but it was most definitely better than going to school!

I slept in until about nine and got on the computer and ate breakfast. Then I worked on a Spanish essay thats due Monday, watched an hour of TV in Spanish for my class, worked on my English essay, and I did laundry. So yay homework so fun....not. But I did learn a ton from that Spanish TV. I found out there is this singer in Mexico who went to jail for raping some girl but then got released today for lack of evidence and his fans went crazy. Most importantly I learned that two hours of Spanish TV might not be too bad, maybe even enjoyable, because there are tons of extremely good looking spanish actors! ;)

Anyways, me and Charity's, fiance, Christopher, have been working out everyday this week. He needs to get in shape for his wedding and I just need to get in shape so we're doing this. So because of the snow we worked out inside. I ran two miles in twenty five minutes on the treadmill (I am so proud of this timing and it's not even that good) while he lifted weights and then we did ab workouts. Oh and also I am so proud of myself because I can do more sit ups than Chris can but as for push ups....can't do one for my life. But hey I'm a fifteen year old girl if I were ripped it'd be scary and weird. Any who,

Then I ate dinner with my family. My mom made chili, it was delicious.

Well, now I am writing this very bland blog.

Sorry, my day was so boring and uninteresting, especially to read about. So to make this blog a whole lot better than it is at this moment here's some bible verses that I read last night that I really enjoyed and kind of spoke to me. :)

Philippians 2:1-4 "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."


Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."


Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”


Well that was my uneventful day easily spiced up with some verses. haha. Hope you enjoyed reading this. I know I didn't enjoy living this boring day doing a bunch of homework so I really doubt you enjoyed reading about it. Lo siento. 

Day 05: My Definition of Love

 My definition of love is this, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." :)

Theres not much more to define it with so I'll widen the subject and I'll tell you my love languages.

How I show love: 

-Words of Affirmation: complimenting them

-Acts of Service: helping someone out

-Physical Touch: hugs, cuddling etc.

How I like to receive love:

All five of the love languages really! But I'll put them in order of my favorite to least.

1.) Physical Touch to be honest. I love the security you find in a big hug. I'm not talking about the other kinds of physical things, just to be embraced in somebody's arms is enough.

2.) Either Acts of Service or Quality Time. We'll talk about acts of service first. I've always admired when a guy is a gentlemen. These kind of boys are pretty much going extinct so I love when a boy opens up the door for you, throws away your trash, lets the ladies go first, pays for your food, basically just your classic gentlemen willing to do just about anything for his lady.

3.) Now we'll talk about Quality Time. I admire it when someone puts everything aside just to talk or just to simply be with me. It shows that they think I'm important or at least more important than their other choice of plans.

4.) Words of Affirmation. I like this one but the reason it's kind of lower on my list is because since girls are more and more insecure and vulnerable these days most girls give in very easy to this love language and boys have clearly caught on to this. A boy will see a girl thats beautiful and decide he likes her with out even have ever talking to her and most girls don't even have a problem with this! So boys being the jerks they can be have taken advantage of this and tell every girl they see that they're pretty because they think that's how they can get what they want. Well I like the words of affirmation at random. When I just woke up and my dad says, "you are so beautiful" or words of affirmation as in encouragement on something or about my personality or something. The affirmation doesn't have to be about my looks just knowing someone loves me through their words is nice. :)

5.) Receiving Gifts. I'm not that much of a gift person, I don't know why. I think its because I'm a pastor's kid so my parents aren't very rich or anything so giving me presents just wasn't their love language so it's not mine either. I like gifts especially if the gift has meaning to it or if its a surprise like I had no idea I was getting a gift. I don't know anyone who has caught on to my love languages better than my best friend, Camille and my sister, Hopey. My last two birthdays have been awesome because of this. 

Two years ago I was on a missions trip in El Salvador with people from my youth group including Hopey and Cami. I was already having a great birthday on our first day of ministry and that was enough for me. When I woke up I got a huge bag of my favorite candy (sweedish fish) thrown at my face and two long notes from my sister and Camille. Then after the day of ministry Camille took me to the bathroom with her and then we came out and all the lights were off except this candle....on an iphone...and a bunch of people started singing "Happy Birthday" and I had the most nasty papusas ever for a birthday cake and got to celebrate my birthday with a bunch of El Salvadorians thanks to Camille and Hope. So it was thee best birthday ever!!!

Then this year I was in Florida for my birthday and the day I got home which was like three days after my birthday Camille was at my house and she went up to my room and decorated it with big pieces of paper saying "Happy 15th birthday Faithy!" With 15 presents. Most of them with my favorite candies and then a red dress because I always wanted one when I was little and locket (another thing I wanted when I was younger, they're stories around all of these). So yeah those are the kinds of gifts I love. 

Well those are my love languages for you. That pretty much explains what love is and means to me. :)

Day 04: What I Ate Today

Well this morning I didn't eat anything for breakfast, I just drank some tea and ran out the door.

In Spanish class my teacher gave us a piece of some kind of really good spanish cheese.

For lunch I ate a cheese and turkey sandwich and some grapes, yes I am a packer. :)

Then when I got home I ate my favorite snack at this point in time. Gram crackers with peanut butter and a glass of milk (sounds weird but it taste like Nutter Butters).

Then I went on a run and afterwards I needed something to hold me down till dinner so when I came home I ate two piece of cheese. (p.s. I'm a huge cheese eater. I tried to fast food for a week and the thing that made me crack on day two was cheese haha.)

Then for dinner I ate chicken corn chowder soup.